The Droid Adventures
By Gabriel Rogovin

 

40 years after the battle of Endor, the First Order have risen from the ashes of the Empire, and are on the hunt for the Rebel Alliance. Up in space, rebels Poe Dameron and Admiral Ackbar had the important task of escorting the droids C-3PO, R2-D2, and BB-8 to General Leia Organa. As Poe gets ready to land on Dequar, the rebel base, they are ambushed by Boba Fett, a bounty hunter presumed dead on his ship Slave One. As the bounty hunter blows open a hole in Poe’s ship, R2-D2 attaches his grappling cord onto C-3PO and BB-8. The droids then jump into the abyss that is space, hurling to their doom. Enraged, Boba grabs Poe and Ackbar, tosses them into his ship and then follows the droids.

Aboard Slave One, Boba Fett tries to interrogate Poe, but Poe has his own questions: “Let me guess, the First Order hired you? Thought you died, Fett.” “As if a Sarlacc pit is enough to keep me down.”  “I know you want the droids but you can't have them, I don't even know where they are!” “You underestimate me, kid. Now, I've been trying to do this the easy way, but if you won't cooperate, well, I can always use torture to get it from you,”
As Boba prepares his method of torture, fellow bounty hunter Dengar walks in. “Fett, I managed to put a tracking device in the big gold one. Now we can see where they are going”. Beneath his mask Boba let's out an evil grin as he sets course for Naboo.

C3-PO wakes up to the sounds of a waterfall. “Oh, goodness gracious, where are those pesky trouble makers?” the protocol droid remarks. “Beep- wooooo!” R2-D2 comes crashing down with the waterfall. “R2-D2! I thought you had died!” “Beep-blop,” “Where is BB-8?” “Bop bloop?’ “What do you mean, I should have kept an eye on him? This whole fiasco has been your doing! Wait a second R2, this is Naboo!! I know this place like my inner wirings! We’re saved, R2 we’re saved!” “Boop, beep!” As the sun sets on Naboo, the two droids search for their companion.

Underwater in the Gungan city, a few Gungan warriors have BB-8 tied up and are presenting him to their leader. “Whosa yousa?” Boss Nass demands. “Beep beep,” the little droid responds. “Boss Nass, wesa find this machineek outside a Gungan city.” “Beep boop.” “Mesa see. Yousa use his pieces for mesa Bongo,” Boss Nass insists. Suddenly, a bomb goes off! “Wesa being attacked!” Out of a First Order submarine, the bounty hunter Cad Bane emerges, with a mask allowing him to breath underwater. Cad Bane holds a gun up to Boss Nass’s face. “I want the droid, Gungan scum!” In an attempt to save his king’s life the, Gungan warrior tosses Bane the droid. “Yousa catch,” Bane catches the droid with one hand. Then the bounty hunter aims his gun at the shaking warrior. “No, you catch.” The Gungan falls to the floor, dead. Bane tips his hat at Boss Nass, “pleasure doing business with you.” Aboard Bane’s submarine, he contacts Boba vis hologram, “Fett, got one. Meet me behind the Naboo Royal Palace and make sure you’re not followed.”

R2-D2 and C3-PO approach the Naboo Royal Palace. “Beep beep, boop beep.” “Yes, I know Naboo is your home, R2, you don’t need to keep reminding me,” “Beeeeeeeee Boooooop.” “Come on, R2, get your mind out of the gutter, we have work to do.” “Beeep.” “No, you shut up! If anyone is going to give away our mission it’s you!!!” Several Naboo citizens give the two droids funny looks.

Suddenly, they can hear Ackbar and Poe’s voices “R2, 3PO! Where are you!?” “R2, do you hear that? We’re saved! We’re saved!” “Boop BEEP!” “R2, 3PO, we are at the Royal Palace!” “Master Poe, Master Ackbar, were coming!” R2 and C-3PO rush to the Royal Palace and run in. “Beep beep.” “You’re right, R2, this place is empty!” Suddenly Boba Fett and Cad Bane walk in, with Poe, Ackbar, and BB-8 tied to the wall and held at gunpoint. Bane chuckles, “well, well, well... if it isn’t those droids that just don’t know when to quit.” C3-PO shivers. “This was a…” Ackbar butts in “a trap?” “Actually, I was going to say this was a trick or an ambush, but trap works too.” “Beep Beep BOooooooP!!!!” Bane and Boba each point a gun at the droids.

“Well, Boba,” Bane asks, “what will you do with your portion of the prize money?”  “My portion?” Boba responds. “Yeah Boba, we both needed each other’s help so we split the prize 50/50,” Boba doesn’t love sharing his profits. “75/25, Bane, that’s my best offer. This was my idea, my mission. Kylo asked me. I deserve the money. I’m being generous sharing it with you!” “Look Boba, I get it. You want to recapture your former glory. But I captured the ball, and since we both captured the other two, I did more than you!” “That’s fair, Bane. Just one thing…” “What?” Fett grabs his gun and shoots Cad Bane in the chest, who falls down dead. “No honor among thieves,” C3-PO remarks.
As Boba finishes off Bane, BB-8 takes advantage of the distraction and slips free. “Hey, where did the ball go,” Boba Fett demands. BB-8 runs around, freeing his friends. Boba looks up. “What th…?” He spins around to find himself cornered by the Rebels and droids. Boba nervously chuckles “ah ah ah, come on you guys, this was not what I wanted to happen. This is a big misunderstanding, look I have proof, I am innocent…” he points to the jacket on Bane’s corpse. “Look. In there is a signed contract.” As Poe, Ackbar and the droids turn around to check, Boba fires on his jetpack and escapes. C3-PO quickly notices this was another lie. “Master Poe, he’s getting away!” Poe and Ackbar both fire at the bounty hunter, but he dodges all of their shots. Suddenly, Boba is shot down by a booma, a huge energy ball fired by the Gungans. Boba Fett lies on the ground unconscious as the Rebels apologize to the Gungans for the inconvenience. Boss Nass Shakes 3PO’s hand. “Yousa help usa get the bounty hunters, wesa grateful,” “It was a pleasure, and a rather interesting adventure if I do say so myself, right R2?” “Beep, boop.”

 

Yoda